Welcome

At this moment, I am contemplating one of the great mysteries of the universe. Why does Twitter take so damn long to send you a verification e-mail when you try to make a change on your account? What the hell else do they have to do over there at Twitter? They sure as hell don't monitor their content. Trying to engage folks in a civil conversation on Twitter is like trying to play chess with a howler monkey. The monkey will just throw the pieces at you and then crap on the chess board.

Still, if you want to market a product (and that is what I am these days, it seems -- a "product) you need to be on Twitter. Until someone invents a better way to do it that we don't fuck up beyond recognition with our natural human instinct to shit on the chessboard.

That's the kind of stuff I ruminate on in my recordings. Might I suggest you listen to them in order?

Start with "The Liberal Grouch." It's everywhere. Try iTunes or Amazon, since that's where everybody buys everything these days.

When you've finished that, give a listen to "Government of the Stupid, By the Criminals, For the Corporations." Sorta sums up my world view nicely, I believe.

I have even dabbled in musicals. "2016: A Race Odyssey" is a look ahead at the 2016 presidential contest and what happens afterwards.

I get angrily poignant in "Nuts for Nitwits." You can listen to the whole album on the Music page on this site.

And coming soon, a new album.  More about that later.

Like Audiobooks? In this day and age, why wear your arms out and risk papercuts holding a dead tree book when you can sit and listen and be TOLD a story? I have three you can find on Audible, iTunes and Amazon. Just do a search by my last name. You'll find 'em.

And ignore the garbage reviews written by "Bluelake". His real name is Eric P. Johnson of Paris, Tennessee and he's a deranged jerk.


Oh, almost forgot. If you have a device that plays "flash" crap, you can see the widget to the right. That's my LIVE365 Radio Station, "Marxist Comedy Radio."

BY THE WAY? Every single word, picture, original musical note -- ALL OF IT -- is © 2014 by William M. Schmalfeldt, Sr. And you won't just be fighting me.

MEMBER: BMI, SOUNDEXCHANGE

ALBUMS AND SINGLES DISTRIBUTED BY: DistroKid, CDBaby, TuneCore, Loudr.


Now DIG IN!!!

I May Not Be Any Good, But I'm Persistent

Um... what? 

I guess something bad was supposed to happen to me today that didn't. I guess the news travels slow down to Tennessee.

Missouri Considers Sweeping Changes After Ferguson Decision 

A Cape Girardeau, Missouri, state legislator vowed Tuesday to introduce a bill in the next session to set a "bag limit" for police in the state, limiting them to harvesting three unarmed black people in any calendar year."You don't have to be an intelligent person to see that there's a problem here," Rep. Claude Armchair said at a poorly-attended press conference. "Missouri is getting a reputation for being the Florida of the Midwest, where young black men can be killed willy-nilly for just looking at a… Read more

The Sunday Stagebill, Vol. 1 (Now on the Music Page) 

From the late 1920s through the end of WWII, Walter J. Puddingbottom honestly believed he was broadcasting a weekly radio program on the NBC Orange Network. The problem? NBC was so sick of Puddingbottom hounding them for his own radio show, they gave him an old fashioned recording machine, told him to turn it on at precisely 10pm ET on Sunday nights, and he would broadcast to the nation. A poor showman and a fellow of minimal wit, Puddingbottom believed it and the ruse lasted until the network asked him to… Read more

The Miracle Boys of Slope Oak, Iowa 

It's available at Audible,com and Amazon now! NOW ON iTUNES AS WELL!

This is the third of the quadrain of audio books I will be releasing. This title joins "Put On Your Parky Face" and "Baby's First Book of Socialist Propaganda" among my entries in the world of audiobooks. It will be joined very shortly by a fourth.

Voice actor Robert Armin did a wonderful job of bringing Mud Klemper to life as he tells the story of their improbable rise and longed-for fall.

IT MAKES THE PERFECT CHRISTMAS GIFT!

 

Newest Album, Get it Here, First! 

This is an album born of an error. I originally recorded "It's All In My Head," believing that the guitar backing tracks I had purchased was using the same definition of the word "performance" as that used by BMI. They were not. So, I did not have permission to use the music,

So, back up. Punt. Write my own music. Start again. With the exception of five cuts from the exceptional Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com), these are all entirely original creations, thrown together on Garage Band.

Go to the music page and… Read more

New Feature on the Website 

If you have any interest at all in purchasing any of my comedy CDs, and you don’t feel like messing around with Amazon or iTunes or any of those corporate monsters, feel free to check out the “Shop” page on this blog and get some nifty stuff direct from the artist at a huge discount. […]

Two New Audiobooks Hitting the Marketplace 

Production has been completed on David Winograd’s splendid reading of my book, “I Killed Osama (and that Hussein Fella, Too!)”. As ACX puts the files through the audio review process — which can take up to 10 business days — as soon as they are satisfied with the quality of the sound files the book […]
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